I Am Adam! by DONDRÉ T. WHITFIELD – Husband and Father!

My heart is full of joy this week as the men of the HeartLife community speak out! Today, we are honored to hear all the way from Los Angeles, California! Actor, entrepreneur (and writer), Dondre has written a powerful word of truth and because he is part of my family, I have watched him live it out as he and his lovely wife Salli Richardson-Whitfield and their daughter Parker share Christmas Eve with us every year! This year their new addition, son Dre will join the family!

This week I was asked to contribute a post regarding something pertaining to male issues and was immediately moved to do so with enthusiastic vigor. Armed with the knowledge that man plays such a powerful role in the shaping of his home and his community whether he is present or absent! One of the most powerful relationships I ever had was the one I had with my father- who like many fathers in our community was non-existent! His example of what I shouldn’t be as a father was most profound in determining what kind of father I was ultimately to become. Truthfully, we either perpetuate or eradicate! In layman’s terms, you either do what’s been done unto you or you break the destructive cycle that GOD has pulled you thru. All too often we as men don’t claim our rightful place in this universe. Walking with a sprit that is free of boastful pride, we must never be afraid to be calculatingly assertive. In the name of all things righteous, take your place as: husband, father, protector, provider, guider, nurturer and community leader. Just as GOD had intended you to do! Girls without fathers, grow to be women who tirelessly search for the love that their father did not provide. While boys without fathers, grow to be men who prey on those women! We need to be there to insure that those boys are taught to pray over their women instead of prey on them.

So, how do we do that if we’ve never been taught to? Ironically, the answer lies in our sisters. As men, we need to allow ourselves the luxury of vulnerability. Women claim it everyday of their lives and as a direct result cut their stress levels significantly by using their fellow females as a sounding board. By doing so they tend to release the stored up frustrations and angers that mount throughout a lifetime and consistently out live us –Sometimes by decades! Unfortunately, we think that if we ask questions or ask for guidance, that we relinquish the strength that is essential in leadership. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, the polar opposite holds true. The minute that we do those things we are saying to the universe that we are introspective enough to become better leaders. For this simple gesture you will always be rewarded with GOD’S favor of wisdom.

So today I humbly ask my brothers to do as I do. Seek the knowledge that you don’t have in your brothers and conversely, share the knowledge that you do have in return. Though it may seem that you are the only one going thru a trying time, you are not. Your brother has either gone thru it, is going thru it or is strong>about to go thru it. By opening the lines of communication you begin to heal yourself and simultaneously heal your brother as well. Then, and only then, can we hope to begin to heal our family and strengthen our community! Just as Adam was intended to do!