The Trying of My Faith That is Still Being Tried!

Over six years ago, I had one of those years where the pressures of life made me feel like I was in a pressure cooker, literally! I had spent years pursuing a doctoral degree and my time was up – I either had to produce or forget it! I hated going to work – for more reasons than I have time to cite! I was weary with having to give so much of myself to so many – mid-life turned into a time of stretching and challenging my faith over and over again!

In addition to all of the above – the winter was horrendous! There was cold, there was snow, there was ice – in abundance! I was staying in a house where I had to park on the street – making it necessary for me to dig my way out of the snow every morning before I could go to work. With so much to do – I was rushing all the time, and one day it happened – I was getting out of the car and my foot slipped on the ice that was right by my car and down I went on one knee and I felt the tear – I didn’t know what tore, but I felt it! Being used to dismissing things and moving on – I went to the doctor, who suggested the usual ice packs and elevation. I didn’t insist on an x-ray, until it began to swell. Before I could even get back to the doctor, I fell again, down the snow-packed steps outside of the house – and then a couple of days later – down the stairs in the house! I fell three times in less than two weeks!

As if I didn’t have enough to do – I then had to go to physical therapy – and write my disertation, and go to work, and care for my family. An x-ray suggested I have a scope done on my torn cartilage; the doctor said damage would still continue to cause me problems and I was too young to have a knee replacement, which was the eventual prognosis.

The years have passed, and I can say – the doctor prophesied about one thing – the damage did increase and six years later I am facing a knee replacement. Hindsight is twenty-twenty – how I wish I could go back to that year and do it without rushing – I wish I would have prayed more and complained less; I wish I would have trusted God more to show me ways to go through that season with more creativity and joy. Coulda, woulda, shoulda won’t change the events of that trying year – nor will it change the consequences that I’m dealing with now.

What I can do is slow down (the truth is that is not a decision – my injury caused a great slow down); I can pray more and complain less; I also can accept this season of my faith being tried with joy…
“looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of my faith” – and know that even now, as always God will:

“…proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.” Isaiah 61:2-3 (NIV)

God Bless You,
Maria