The Lessons I Took Too Long To Learn – Part V

Forgiving Myself For Not Being Perfect!

“I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.” Romans 7: 21-25 (NLT)

The blinders were off, there ws no Cinderella life after all. Somehow I thought that my life as a Christian would be different – that I would be able to rise above mistakes and failures – that every day would be sunshine – and there would be no gray clouds. That the desire that I had to walk circumspectly, without reproach would be achievable – that finally I would live as I had always wanted to live in a perfect, idyllic world where I also did everything right and everything good always happened to me!

Yes, the blinders were off – for not only was I continuing to make mistakes, and experience failure – now they were so open, I became a public spectacle! Everyone knew that I was a mess-up and even worse – I seemed compel to “tell” them all – even if they didn’t already know. Those testimony services somehow became my place of laying it all out. What was the matter with me?

Does that sound familiar to you? Were you one who walked into your new life in Christ expecting it to be a clean slate that would never again be marred by sin or personal failure? Did you somehow feel as if that you were finally in a place where you would never again hurt, or feel pain caused by other people’s deeds, and that you would never again cause anyone else pain?

For many Christians, this is our story, this our song – when personal failures come, we are devastated! It took me a long time to recognize that not only was I not perfect – I was going to make huge mistakes. And not coming from a loving and secure home where forgiveness lived – I would tend to hide, looking for some fig leaves – feeling that my naked failures would somehow make it hard for God to look at me.

One day I discovered this verse of scripture:

“Don’t interfere with good people’s lives;
don’t try to get the best of them.
No matter how many times you trip them up,
God-loyal people don’t stay down long;
Soon they’re up on their feet,” Proverbs 24: 15-16 (MSG)

To tell the truth, I didn’t discover this version, instead the one I read said, “though a righteous man fall seven times he will get up.” And I heard the Winans song that my son Morris loved to play, “Get Back Up Again!” ” Get Back Up Again!”

And I got up! And I started again – this is it beloved – you are going to have get up from personal failure and start over – the good news is that as you continue on your journey – the failures become fewer and farther apart – but the lesson is still the same – if and when they come – “Get Back Up Again!”

God Bless You,
Maria