Trusting God! – Part I by Donna Balsavich

This week-end we are privileged to have the testimony of my friend, Donna Balsavich. Part I will be on today and Part II on tomorrow.

Part I

“BE MERCIFUL and gracious to me, O God, be merciful and gracious to me, for my soul takes refuge and finds shelter and confidence in You; yes, in the shadow of Your wings will I take refuge and be confident until calamities and destructive storms are passed.” Psalm 57:1 (AMP)

Trusting God, no matter how long it takes! I met my husband at 18, married at 21, because I didn’t want to wait it out. My spiritual mom expressed to me that we were unequally yoked. I was sooooo idealistic! I thought, at that time, Brian would just come around. (he came from a Catholic background, and I was still a very young Christian myself at that point). It would just work out.

Along came our first child, carried nine monthes, but he was still born. As we were wisked off to a private room to wait to hold the baby after delivering him, Brian was so saddened and confused because we weren’t able to baptize the baby before he died (in the womb). We had to pray him out of Pergetory. At that point, I had never heard of such a thing. I nearly sat up straight in my bed (after 36 long hours of delivery), and said, “WHAT are you talking about? you have GOT to be kidding me?! What kind of God would let a baby float around like that?! My Jesus has this baby right in his arms! He loves and holds dear all the children born! I know this baby is in Heaven with the Father.”

Why did this happen? I do not know… but HE IS in control. Now you have to understand, at that point in my own Christian walk, that confidence came only from the Holy Spirit! I had not read through the Word enough to wholy understand or have such confidence in Him.
For the 2 1/2 years before our baby was born, we had talked many hours, Brian had questioned me on how I knew for sure I would go to heaven, or how I was sure I knew God as I did. He never was convinced to “convert”.

Four years had past after our still born baby we had a healthy son, and were pregnant again ….with TWINS this time! I felt for sure that the Lord was giving us an extra blessing since our first baby had died. 7 1/2 months into the pregnancy, my water bag broke, we had to have an emergency C-section. Both baby boys were very small, 1 lb 13 oz., and 3lb 10 oz. Doctors had come in to let me know that both babies would most likely die. After many tests were done, baby “A”, aka: Mark, had no functioning organs, and no brain waves. Baby “B”, aka: Michael, struggled with underdeveloped lungs, but was a fighter! On the third day after giving birth, we buried Mark. Once again, though I was so excited to be having twins, and not being able to see that fulfilled in my “life”, I was once again seeking after God for comfort and strength, knowing my God was in control.

My husband, looked at me as a rock. Still not convinced that I knew for sure what I was talking about, but he continued to ask me questions, seeking answers. This seeking was not good enough for me! (oh, how little my mind was!). We eventually had three healthy boys, that I took to church, was faithful and became very active in our church. Brian would attend church if the kids were in a play or for a special occassion.

Years continued to pass by. Often I questioned the Lord, “When, Lord WHEN!?” When will we be a family attending church together?. When is Brian going to be saved? We had gone through some monumental things over those years, yet Brian, though he questioned, listened to the answers, he just would not convert, much to my dismay.

Read the conclusion to Donna’s testimony on tomorrow.

God Bless You,
Maria